


Wedding Flowers

by ButaiYrin (Yrindor)



Category: Cocoa Otoko, Japanese Actor RPF
Genre: M/M, Pining, Weddings, hanahaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 02:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12784968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yrindor/pseuds/ButaiYrin
Summary: Yonehara Kousuke doesn't want to think about Kamakari Kenta's impending wedding.





	Wedding Flowers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [acchikocchi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/acchikocchi/gifts).



> For acchikocchi who managed to pull me down this rabbit hole to keep her company.

Real.

Yone isn't sure what other word describes the situation. Okay, technically Kenken's wedding has been real since Kenken first called to tell him about it, but that was a different sort of real. That was the sort of real that could be filed away in a corner and pointedly _not_ thought about. Tomorrow is going to make everything a different sort of real. It's one thing to avoid a fact that's only talked about by a select group in select messages, but once that fact becomes an experience shared and photographed by dozens and shared with the world at large, it becomes much harder to avoid. He's had months to come to terms with Kenken's marriage, but he's still not ready for it to become real.

His phone buzzes.

> Suzuki Shougo:  
>  Go out for a drink tonight?

He can't think of a better idea at the moment.

> you:  
>  Sounds good

> Suzuki Shougo:  
>  Meet you in your room at 20:00

He has half an hour until the appointed time, which is just long enough to finish unpacking and change. He's pulling on his jacket when Shougo knocks on the door.

"Good to see you," he says. "Junya says there's a good bar down the street. He and Masashi are going to meet us there. Kei might stop by too if he gets in in time."

Yone waves a hand in acknowledgments. He doesn't really care who's there, or where _there_ is. All he wants is to get away and hopefully spend the night forgetting about what's going to happen in the morning.

Masashi waves them over when they walk in, and just in the time it takes to cross the room, Yone spots a half dozen others who are probably here for the same event. He ignores all of them and sits down next to Junya. Shougo sits next to him and orders them both a drink. The conversation flows as easily as the alcohol, and Yone starts thinking that maybe this isn't so bad after all. There's a lot to reminisce about with this group, and a lot to catch up on.

But then Kei mentions Kenken's wife, and Yone's stomach turns. He assumes it's the alcohol; he's lost track of how many drinks he's had.

He excuses himself from the table and rushes to the bathroom, but instead of bile, it's flowers that spill out of his mouth. He stares at the petals in the toilet and hopes it's all just an alcohol-fueled hallucination. He panics as the flowers multiply, and his hand slams into the corner of the toilet paper holder as he stumbles back. He raises his fingers to his mouth and tastes blood.

The pain grounds him just long enough to know he needs to get out. Get away from the bar, away from people who know his life, and hopefully away from the horror behind him in the bathroom. He pushes his way out of the bar, shoving away concerned questions and brushing off well-meaning hands. When he's finally clear and alone on the sidewalk, he lets his feet carry him down side streets and back alleys until he stumbles into a dim bar where no one knows him or wants to know him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He wakes up to a pounding in his head and a thick haze in his brain. He remembers going out with Shougo and the rest, but after a certain point, everything becomes fuzzy. He can't remember when, or how, he made it back to his hotel room.

He reaches for his phone, hoping he remembered to set an alarm and hasn't overslept (and hoping he hasn't said anything he'll regret). It's not where it should be, and somehow that seems to set the tone for the day. He turns over and pulls a pillow over his head.

The pounding grows more incessant, and eventually he realizes there's a pounding at his door mirroring the pounding in his head. He drags himself to his feet and stumbles across the room. Halfway there, he trips and looks down to see his shoes in the middle of the floor surrounded by wilting flower petals.

Suddenly, all of the missing pieces of the night before come rushing back, and his stomach turns to another flood of flowers that are hastily shoved under the corner of the futon. His knees don't want to support him anymore. He crawls to the door and drags himself up by the handle, hoping he looks at least marginally more human than he feels.

He opens the door to a frantic Kamiyama Ryuuji who narrowly avoids knocking on his head.

"I was starting to worry you hadn't made it back last night or something," Ryuuji says, ushering him back into the room and closing the door behind them. "I have your phone, and I want to hear the rest of that story later, but now you're running late, and Kenken's trying to stall the wedding until you get there, and I've been tasked with retrieving you, so hurry up and get dressed."

Yone blinks. There are far too many words in that sentence for the current capacity of his brain.

Ryuuji smiles and holds out his phone. "Apparently some foreign guy, Jeremy or something, found this last night. He called your mom. She called me." Yone takes his phone, sees the wall of increasingly anxious missed messages, and turns off the screen.

"Anyway, let's get you ready," Ryuuji continues, undoing buttons on Yone's dress shirt and tossing it onto the bed. "Everyone's already downstairs, but Kenken wanted to wait for you. I think he's starting to run out of things to stall with though; he's texting about every thirty seconds now for updates. It's poor form making the groom wait for his own wedding."

Yone can't help it. He chokes when Ryuuji mentions the wedding, clamping his hands over his mouth to keep the flowers in. Ryuuji freezes, one hand on his shoulder. "Are you sick?" he asks.

Yone shakes his head.

A single flower petal slips through his fingers and flutters to the floor.

Ryuuji's eyes soften as he looks at Yone with far too many emotions. "Oh," he says softly. Yone lets his hands fall. It's useless trying to keep up the ruse in front of Ryuuji any longer, and he's tired.

Ryuuji pulls him in close. "Do you want me to tell him you're sick?" he whispers.

"No."

If it were anyone else's wedding, maybe he would bow out, but this is Kenken—his old bandmate, his friend, his partner. As much as going will hurt, _not_ going would hurt more (whether he means Kenken or himself he's not entirely sure, and he doesn't want to think about that too much either).

"Here's your shirt," Ryuuji says once Yone pulls away. With his help, it's not long before Yone is dressed and heading out the door. The elevator feels like it's crawling between floors, and when it finally opens into the lobby with a resounding bing, Yone freezes until Ryuuji squeezes his shoulder once and ushers him out and across the hall. 

Every eye looks to him when he walks in, but the only one he sees is Kenken whose face lights up at the sight, relief smoothing away the hard edges of worry.

"You made it," he mouths.

Yone puts on his best smile. _I'm here_ , he hopes it says. _I'm happy for you._

He walks past table after table of guests and flower arrangements to take his seat. The MC rises, and the attention turns away from him. For once in his life, he's glad that he's off to the side and out of the spotlight; it makes it easier to hide his surreptitious coughing into his napkin.

As the speeches stretch on, flowers fill his lap and spill out onto the floor. He worries over how he's going to explain them until he catches sight of the empty table behind him. Someone has artfully scattered loose petals around the base of the flower arrangement spilling from its center, and they look nearly the same as the ones in his hands. It can't hurt to add a few more.

Finally, the speeches end and pockets of chatter break out as the guests turn to speak to their neighbors. Yone breaths a sigh of relief and makes his own rounds, catching up with friends and colleagues he hasn't seen in awhile and trying his best to ignore the reason they've all come together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His solo live marks the first time he's been alone with Kenken since the wedding. Sure, there was Show by Rock, but with the whole cast running around, plus all of the staff, privacy of any sort was nearly impossible to come by. His live is smaller and more intimate, and that doesn't just apply to the space.

At the end of the show, he offers his cheek to Kenken. Maybe it's asking too much, but as he closes his eyes, he hopes that Kenken will indulge him this one last time. He's always taken Kenken's kisses for granted before—always assumed there would be another waiting to happen at any time. He's overstepping, but if there's not going to be another, he wants a final kiss to savor for what it is.

There's a part of him that doesn't question what's going to happen next, because Kenken's always been indulgent of him, maybe even overly so. But like usual, Kenken manages to surprise him anyway. He doesn't expect Kenken to angle his head so that their mouths press together in a kiss he knows he'll dream of later.

He definitely doesn't expect the flower that blooms where their lips meet.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks go to acchikocchi for the reports from Yone's lives and the treasure trove of stories contained therein.


End file.
